It is real tough to be a Republican in 2004 because in some way you have to believe concurrently that: 1 Jesus be in love withs you.

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It is real tough to be a Republican in 2004 because in some way you have to believe concurrently that:

1 Jesus be in love withs you, but shares your hard hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2 The United States should acquire out of the United Nations, on the other hand our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

3 "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their work at jobss to India,

4 A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her allow body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

5 Being a medicine addict is a moral failing and a crime, unles you are a conservative radio armed force Then it's an illness and you ne our prayers for your recovery

6 cluster sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unles you someday scamper for governor of California as a Republican.



7 If condoms are kept not at home of schools, adolescents won't have sex

8 A proper way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, however then demand their co-operation and money

9 HMO and insurance companies make profits and have the interest of the public at heart.

10 Health care to all Iraqis is unbroken policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

11 Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, however creationism should be taught in schools

12 It is okay that the Bush family's "Carlyle Group" has done $$millions$$ of business with the Bin Laden family.

13 Saddam was a beneficial guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he was our buddy a bad dowdy when Bush's daddy made war forward him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, still then a bad guy again when Bush junior penuryed a prop for his re-election campaign as the "war president."

14 A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense A president lying about WMD existence, to enlist support for an unprovok undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and civilians die, is, in some way solid "defence" policy in a "War Against Terrorism."

15 The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, moreover George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade should be sealed in his daddy's library, and is none of our business.

16 What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960's was of vital national interest further what Bush did in the 1980's is irrelevant.

17 Trade with Cuba is evil because the country is communist, however trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a "spirit of international harmony."

18 Affirmative Action is inapposite but it is OK for your daddy and his friends (here and in Saudi Arabia) to master you to graduate from Yale without studying often to dodge the draft in the Texas Air National Guard, to bail without your company Harken Oil and the Texas Rangers, to prepare the Governorship of Texas and then to have the pre-eminent Court appoint you president of the US

19 You are a conservative, unless it is OK to dispose of like there is no tomorrow and glide up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same refunding as earnestly tax money as possible to rich commonalty who do not need it.

This illogical behavior can take a toll onward a healthy mind. So if a friend of yours has been acting a bit dazed and confused lately, be nice: he or she may be a Republican.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Catholic strange Times, Inc.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group

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