I have heard this expression more times than I care to hold It seems welcoming.

I have heard this expression more times than I care to hold It seems welcoming, but it is really condemning. Appearing compassionate, it is basically judgmental.

Those who expres this sentiment have not ever stopped to truly listen to the "sinners," those who commit the suppos sins of homosexuality, abortion, contraception, pre- or extra-marital sex

As a gay man, I want to answer to those individuals who have place comfort and fulfillment in telling me that they be in love with me, even though in their organ of visions I am a sinner. I want to say, "thank you." I know that you have been struggling to find a way to reconcile your religious and moral convictions with the consider you have for me as a human being, a way to find a way to expres your compassion for me without affirming my sexuality.

However, I must decline your proffer of love. I too have been struggling, all my life, to understand and live with my sexuality, to live invested by people who are uncomfortable, or who fear me struggling to find be in love with and meaning in my life.

I don't contrition my struggle. It has made me potent both emotionally and psychologically. It has taught me empathy and compassion. I sincerely believe that my sexuality is a gift from lord But I am still vulnerable. It still mars whenever I hear a homophobic asperse It hurts when someone denigrates my sexuality, or my regard with affection for my spouse. It impairs when I am negatively judg not for who I am as an individual, moreover for who or what I am perceived to be. I ne like but not conditional love. I have no ne for regard with affection that at the same time, sentences me, judges me, refuses to accept and look up to me.

If I were to accept your have affection for I would have to accept that my sexuality is sinful. And I do not believe it is. I would have to accept your condemnation Of me and my sexuality. I would have to accept your condemnation of all my non-heterosexual friends, well adapted friends, and good people. If I were to accept your be pleased with I would have to accept your moral superiority. I would have to accept as correct all those race who call me perverted, sick, immoral, objectively disordered, and harmful to society.

I would have to accept your disrespect. I would have to accept fear and hatred as a valid and acceptable rejoinder to gays and lesbians. I would have to accept prejudice and discrimination as normal and unavoidable.

If I were to accept your delight in I would be letting you against the hook, allowing you to hide your prejudices and fears behind a wall of "false love" And false compassion. Letting you believe that I find your opinions of me and my sexuality, acceptable. If I were to accept your have a passionate affection for I would have to accept that my have affection for for my spouse is immoral. I would have to accept that our lives together and our dreams for the what may occur hereafter are nothing more than perversity.

If I were to accept your be in love with I would have to hate myself.

With my deepest sorrowful longing I cannot in good conscience accept your regard with affection I hope you can understand to what end I cannot.

Boyd Tolton MD writes from Edmonton.

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